Day 158: Security Guard Wanted

Desperation drove Amanda to use the cheap-o security company, Animate Security, to watch over her warehouse stocked full of gardening products. Equipment on one side and live plants on the other.

The thefts started out minor, but they’d been rapidly increasing, and although she couldn’t really afford security, she definitely couldn’t afford not to have it any more.

Amanda quickly realized that the way they kept costs down was to use monsters. They received a huge tax credit from the government for every monster they integrated into normal society. The management assured her that they could do the job, and what choice did she have? She hired one on.

The first one, a sturdy looking woman named Sangria, had deathly pale skin and red, red lips. Amanda showed her around.

“Where have you done night watch before?” asked Amanda.

Sangria’s smile bared long fangs in the upper teeth and smaller ones in her jaw. “The blood bank.”

“Why did you leave?” asked Amanda.

“It was a temp job. They let me go.” Sangria’s tone said, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

“There loss is our gain.” After showing Sangria the equipment and the exits on that side, Amanda took her to the plant side. “Believe it or not, we get more stolen from this side than the other.”

They were about halfway through when Sangria shrieked and shrunk to the ground.

“What’s that smell? It hurts! It hurts!”

“What’s your problem?” asked Amanda. “It’s just garden bulbs. Flowers, onions, garlic—”

“Garlic!” she screamed. She turned into a bat and flew away.

“Oh, crumb,” said Amanda. “I have to hire another.” She walked to the security desk and settled in for a long night.

The next night, a witch showed up from Animate Security.

“What made you leave your last job?”

The crone snarled. “Industrial accident with an oven.”

“Hm. Let me show you around. These are all the plants we keep here.”

The witch examined them closely. “Do I get a discount on anything? These could help my potions.”

The plant watering sprinklers came on overhead and rained on Amanda and the witch. The witch shuddered and screamed. “I’m melting!” Amanda raced to turn off the sprinklers, but by the time she returned, there was nothing left but the witches black clothing and a coned hat.

Dropping her head, Amanda traipsed back to the security desk and watched until morning.

Animate Security sent a mummy named Hepshememetshet on the third night. Amanda showed him everything, and he didn’t flinch.

“I think your smell alone would discourage thieves from coming in,” she said. She pretended to spill water on him accidentally, and smirked when it didn’t faze him. “I think you’ll work out fine. Are you ready to guard this place.”

“Ma’am, there’s not a man alive who will get past me.”


When Amanda came in the next morning, the warehouse was trashed. Thieves had taken dozens of plants, a couple lawn mowers, and a garden gnome. She couldn’t see Hepshememetshet anywhere.

“Where are you?” Amanda bellowed. She finally found him hiding inside a premium doghouse. He curled up into a bawl and trembled violently. “What happened?” she asked.

The mummy struggled to rasp. “The thieves. Almost as big as men.”

“What?” asked Amanda. “What were they?”

“They were werecats,” he said.


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